My H00d

I live in a neighborhood where gang tagging is like decoration and littering is okay I guess? Where the train passes and make all that noise. Bums get mad because you can't spare a dollar, teenage moms standing at the bus stop with a baby on one hip and a over sized baby bag hanging from the other arm,police up and down up and down the damn streets but never caught the killer of that 7 year old baby girl but, their so worried about a brother or sister who is barely making ends meet and give him a fix it ticket for a broke light he tried to fix but the money didn't add up right. Or how about the crack heads walking up and down the street prostituting so they can intoxicate themselves with that mess. Maybe the 9 year old big little sister walking home her 6 and 4 year old younger siblings because her mom have two jobs,go to school part time and their daddy, he don't exist to them. How about my next door neighbor hanging out with his friends on his birthday in front of his house and he got shoot in his knee? The liquor store on the corner got burnt down I asked the owner what happened he said, "I'm so fed up with this s*^!",I stay where your own black people snickering and whispering about you when you walk in the nail shop, Yeah I live there were all these things and more take place but what I can say is I'm grateful for my guardian angels protecting and watching over me with all their might. I'm grateful for ever breath I take,every morning I wake up. Every night I pray that my neighborhood change so my son,nieces and nephews can play after the street lights come on. Even though it may seem as if I portrayed my neighborhood in all negative ways it is all still reality. I may have described a neighborhood of your own. Rather or not what I've just stated is many reasons why our youths are leading down the wrong road. How could you wake up every morning and walk to that bus stop or corner store visualizing the images I just painted and think happy thoughts? How should or young men feel when they can't walk down one of the Avenues without getting harassed? All the cons out weighed the pros and that's why the negative things stood out. But I been in my neighborhood for 16 years so I guess I got use to the gang tagging,the shooting, police sirens going off at all times of day and night, and having to watch your back. Like Tupac said, "I guess Somethings will never CHANGE".

my first day

Being fresh meat on campus seemed very overwhelming,just the idea of being at the bottom of the barrel all over again was painful. I was so excited to leave Middle school I just didn't know what to do with myself. Even though I knew my neighborhood friends and I were going to Crenshaw together it didn't affect me because I had alot of friends already. Well my Mother intentions were different. It all happened like this.My elder brother and sister attended Palisades and graduated from there so my mummy expected the same from me. My brother was the point guard for Palisades basketball team. One day after one of his games he got off the bus in front of Crenshaw High and was robbed for his tennis shoes at gun point. So my intentions on going to Crenshaw was over.

My mummy enrolled me into Palisades. I knew alot of people already attending and associates from middle school. I was not at all excited to go because I would have to take this long stupid bus ride every single day. I will never forget my first day I had on a white and blue DKNY shirt on with some blue DKNY jeans my hair was corn rowed up into a side ponytail with beads clicking and clacking on the ends, and of course my fresh white and blue DKNY tennis shoes. Now this is the forgettable part, Imagine standing at the bus stop 6:30 in the morning on your first day of High School, thinking you the finest thing on the block with no jacket or sweater on waiting for the bus to take you to the Palisades which would be so much colder.

I was angry,upset and ready to turn around and walk home. The bus came and as I walked on I really began to realize how much I disdain this whole big yellow school bus. People moved over their backpacks as if their seat was taking up, some laid in the seat and some just looked at you like I wish you would sit next to me. I found myself sitting way in the back which wasn't a problem with me because everyone had their morning attitude going already. Well everyone was probably feeling like me. So as soon as I sat in the back i pulled out my CD player and tried to tune everyone else out.

We were almost their about 10 minutes away we had exited off the PCH high way and were close to the Santa Monica Pier. All of a sudden it was a wift of a disgusting fishy smell. Now just imagine that smell every morning for 4 years. That was not adjustable. Finally, we got off the bus and walked about a half mile to get to the entrance of school. I seen everyone scattering off to buy one of them over cooked cookies or looking for their classes. I was just totally lost. Finally, I spotted my best friend Brandia I was so over joyed she complemented me on my hair and we were off looking for our classes. I found my fist class and it actually went well. Time flew by and before I knew it it was lunch time. I automatically seen the seniors with the seniors the juniors with the juniors and everyone below was in the quad area. I didn't know where to go. I heard my name being yelled out "Melisha,Melisha" I turned around and I recognized the face and yelled out "Was up KeShaun". KeShaun was my neighbors older brother. I was filled with joy to see him. We conversed and he introduced me to all of his friends. Everything went perfect. Time went by so fast before I knew it it was time to get ready to get on the bus. As I was walking to my bus KeShaun asked me would I like a ride home of course I said Heck yeah with a big smile.

My day was over and I was on my way home. Days went by along with months and years. I became use to the fishy smell, friendships were made and broken, alot of issues arrived,some days felt long and dreadful,some days I ditched,Some were fun,sad,joyful,painful and much more. To this day I thank my mummy for enrolling me into Palisades for I knew I wouldn't last a week in Crenshaw. Palisades become alright better than alright it was awesome. I still miss it till this day its nothing like High school period. My first day until my last day was all pleasent now that I think back about it because their will never be anything like it again. Oh did I forget to say I graduated on time with my class just like my mummy wanted me to. Class of 0666666666'. =)

They say good things come to those who wait. Well does anyone know exactly how long that is? I know that I am young and there will be enough time for love in the near future. Sometimes it get real cold and lonely. I've been a very loyal person to all the men I have dated but, yet they always seem to mess up. My last three year to long relationship ended up in tears and words of hate. I'm far from desperate despite the numbers of male friends wanting to start a relationship. I guess they just haven't completely meet my level of standards.


So I guess I'm just sitting back waiting my turn for my mister right! With open arms, a high head and a heart ready. First, I know I must get myself together for success before I do anything else. My education is important but, Myself and my feelings are also very important to me. So I will let those good things come to me as I patiently wait.

little miss lucky

Everyone says that Life is short and don't take it for granted. I must admit I never really took that saying seriously.Life indeed is very important to me. Succeeding is nothing but a option. Some choices I made wasn't always wise. At times I seen myself going down the wrong road. I was living the fast life with people I would describe as a major problem to our society. At that point I was just another lost 17 year old GIRL in the hood with no responsibility, no worries and no self-respect. Certainly I knew all the unspeakable things I engaged myself into would eventually catch up to me. At that point of my life I was living for tomorrow and not necessarily my future. One night myself and some friends attend my ex-boyfriends' show. We were all excited because the famous rapper Too Short was told to accompany this event. We were enjoying ourselves dancing to the music and waiting for my ex-boyfriend to open the show for Too Short. I had to break loose from the dancing. My feet began to hurt in those 6 inches heels. So, I asked my boyfriend to walk me to my car to change my shoes. As we proceed to exit the Club the Bouncer yelled out, "Make sure you have your wristbands or else you won't be able to re-enter". There was one problem, The street we were on was a very extended street. The lights were about half a mile apart. So, we decided to cross the street directly in the middle like we did when we arrived. We made it half way safe. We was standing on the island of the huge street waiting for cars to pass so we can cross. Me and DJ (ex-boyfriend) was laughing and joking about how he was going to demolish this show. I was over joyed and excited. So, there we were standing on the island. The coast was clear we stepped down and made it less than half way. My shoes, purse, myself and him went flying in the air. Are you okay, Are you okay? What is your name can you tell me your name? I respond in deep pain ,"Melisha". He said, "How many fingers am I holding up"? No response. Damn everything went black. I woke up the next day around 5:00 am in such excruciating pain. The doctor came in to speak to me. He said, "How are you feeling" barely speaking I said, "bad" He replied "I know I can't imagine". He asked me did I know what happened to me. I replied, "I got shot". He said " No you got hit by a car you broke your tibia and fibia in both legs. Your fibia in your right leg ejected out your leg" At this point I didn't care I was just glad to be alive. He continued to explain how I wouldn't be able to walk for 6 months and I was a "Miracle Girl", They had to revive me while stitching up my neck. When DJ and I got hit I rolled up on the car's windshield and shattered the glass. As you can see i have an laceration from the left side to the right side of my neck. The Doctor told me the glass just missed my Jugular vein and if it would of got torn I wouldn't be here to tell my story. As for DJ he was in coma for a month in a half his brain shifted out of place and he had bleeding and inflammation of the brain. He was told he was going to be a vegetable for life and never was going to walk or talk again. This was all to obvious I knew this was definitely a wake up call. God had a different purpose he wasn't ready for me to be with him just yet. I appreciate life more than I ever have. With these eternal scares I can't never forget what I've been through,how it affected me and my loved ones.LIFE is short it may be tooken away in one blink appreciate it,don't take it for granted and NEVER think your in a position not to lose it. I love live life to the fullest you should do the same.

blacc and white

Have you ever thought about how we are in this same world together but are so seperate from eachother. I went to Paul Revere Middle school and Palisades Charter High school. It was a very diverse school mainly Caucasians and Orientals. Going to school with every shade of skin, every nationality was sometimes challenging. Something I will never forget was a discussion in my 12th grade African American History class, We were discussing the topic of Indian's receiving funds and why African Americans weren't receiving anything at all. A uneducated ignorant girl replied, "They need to just get over it slavery is over and its to many of them to give money to anyways"! My mouth dropped and my eyes were left wide open. Well i guess she was entitled to her own opinion. My perception changed about alot. It annoyed me that she was so ignorant and heartless because everyday our people are left struggling to get to the top when some already have a peddle stool below them. On the other hand everything about our school was segregated. It amazed me to think so long ago it was just like how it is now it made me realize didn't to much change. We did an exercise that I had to share we compared and contrast the colors black and white and everything that dealt with those colors. BLACK: Very dark in color, heavy, serious, soiled, absence of light, wicked, very sad, gloomy, characterized by hostility or angry discontent WHITE: Free from color, free from spot and blemish, innocent, favorable, fortunate, marked by upright fairness and pure We are all so different but yet the same. In the great words of Martin Luther King Jr. "Let no man pull you low enough to hate him". No matter what no one says or how a dictionary describes are color we are all equal.