My Greatest Fear

Growing up in South Central,Los Angeles it is a lot to fear.Fear of being shot,jumped,killed(accident or purpose),and simply not upgrading from living in the hood.Honestly,those listed above is not what fears me.My fear is:Lack of success,not achieving goal or goals,"falling short",or simply being a failure.My major goal is to succeed in anything I put my hands on.Failing is so much easier than trying,reaching for that goal,and succeeding.

I know at times I slack off and it's not quite reality to me that I'm in college but failing is not a option.I think about it everyday.I've heard it over and over you sometimes have to fail to continue and strive harder.It's not many role models I look up to as far as family.Every One seems to be just getting by.I want to get by and have space to take a vacation,buy my son something nice,or maybe by myself a new car.But,as I think about all the accomplishments I have made I just barely made it.I have a lot of faith in myself so I know I can do it.


Thomas Edison said,"I have not failed.I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

My heart flew to heaven

I recall on a very hot and humid day sitting down in our over packed bungalows waiting for our assignment.Our agenda was set up on the huge green chalk board.In Our English class we did alot of poetry and reading.Our teacher Ms.Ramzi told us,"Today we will be analyzing this Indian poem with an anonymous writer." I took the poem and read it.


Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

As I began to read it I automatically became sadden.I had lost my cousin 6 months before reading the poem.It was still tragic to me and I just couldn't see my life without my elder cousin.I read the poem again and read it with feeling and compassion.I wanted to cry but,I didn't want to make a big scene.My teacher told us close our eyes think of someone who has past and listen to her read the poem out loud. Every word and every line made my imagery go wild.Its been 6 years today since my cousin past away and I still cry.I know he is indeed in a better place But, I wish the better place would have been here with me.This poem has made me view my cousin's death in a positive perspective.I know he watches over me everyday faithfully.


RIP.GREGORY RUSSELL GAROY...WE STILL MISS YOU....

My Obama

On November 4th I will be voting for Mr.Barack Obama.My reason for voting for him is far beyond the fact that we are the same race.Personally,I get a good vibe from Obama when he speaks.He has a charm,a glow and perfect smile everytime he does his speechs.His intellengence makes him sparkle.With him making history as the First Black President,this should motivate us all.When he beat Hillary Clinton it was very overwhelming.Their is hope.For those who didn't register to vote, its never to late to pray.Obama will be a miracle we've all been waiting for.Let's not rest our problems on his shoulders.He is not a magician all problems will not disapper but they can get better.

This indeed will test us as a whole.I believe our communities,households,children etc...will all have to become one.He is only one man.It is only so much he can do.This has been the first time that I actually paid attention to anything political.No matter how many bad remarks John Mccain says about Obama he continues and shows no worries.Wouldn't life be so much easier if we all didn't worry about what others say about us?Im so anxious I'm like a little kid at Disneyland.I don't want to wait in line I just want to put in my vote.LETS BARACK THE VOTES...VOTE OBAMA.

Friendship

Every since high school I had huge problems with females.I never took the time to understand was it me or was it really just them.Letting go of a friendship sadly to say comes easy.Growing up in a rough neighborhood like mine you can't trust no one.So I stick with what I've learned and continued my life without many friends.Us people have this thing called fake.In my eyes everyone is fake.Your mom talks about you to your aunties and uncles behind your back.Isn't that fake?Your boyfriend talk about you to his friends thats counterfiet? and so on.Girls are known to backstab,lie and possible try to steal your man!I'm not saying every female have those characteristics but,Every girl I know can tell you a story about a girl that has betrayed them.

But in September 2000 I met this girl that was so similar to me it was crazy.We automatically clicked and were bestfriends since middle school.We've been friends for almost 9 years.Yes,their were times we couldn't stand eachother.We argued,fought,cussed eachother out but regardless she always was there for me.I love my bestfriend to death and I can honestly say she has a very pure heart.She was there for me when my cousin died and for every other occasion.We watched eachother grow up into beautiful young ladies.If I can't get along with no one else I wouldn't care because my true bestfriend is all I need.







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I love my heritage

I love my heratige it's nothing like it. The people,language,coral reef,food, music,pride and tradition.I am a Belizean-American.Belize is located in Central America. Its capitol is Belmopan. In my family we have a mixture of different types of Belizeans we have Garifuna's which are people with a mixture of African,Indian and Carib, Creole is a mixture of English and African(black),Mopan which is Maya Indian.Our language is different and not to hard to learn. We speak Kriol(Creole) which is said to be broken English.For instants we say Weh di go ann? meaning Whats up? Or Gud mannin' meaning Good Morning. English was of course my first language but Kriol never came second,It followed right behind.Its said to be, Creole is largely based on English, although it does include words from various African languages as well.Fact is Belize has the second largest Coral Reef in the world! It is located next to Great Barrier Reef in Australia.It has a beautiful and unforgettable sight.

Everyone that taste Belizean food enjoys it.A tipical Breakfast would be eggs,refried beans and johnny cake,fry jack or hand made tortilla. Johnny cake is round like a biscut and made out of flour,cut in half and buttered inbetween.Fry cake is similar just deeped fried and no butter.Their are many dishes that are delicious.It's a known fact that Mexican food have an influence on some of Belizean dishes.I love my culutre.

Another Teenage Statistic

My Life, it never been easy. I guess it wasn't destined to be but, what would life be like if it wasn't challenging? I made choices in life that may have not been the best to those who critique me. I was 17 years old when I found out that I was 2 months pregnant. I hide my pregnancy until I was 5 months. I do not agree with abortions so aborting my baby was not a option. Who am I to kill a blessing from God? It wasn't a matter of what my parents would think or say but how everyone else would react.Yes indeed my Mother kicked me out of her house. I stayed with my son's Father, Being away from my family was ultimately hard. Days went by and they didn't get easier. I remember one day my Baby's Father and I was going into Target and this older lady told me,"You should be ashamed of yourself." I looked at her deviously pulled my Baby Daddy arm and continued walking. Feeling hurt from what she had said I started to consider,Should I be ashamed?. I was hurt,embarressed and began questioning myself.

Continuing High School seemed like the impossible. I wanted to quit and just go back after having my son. But, the love ones around me wouldn't allow me to do such a foolish thing. I continued going to school and adult school. I busted my butt to make up credits and doing extra work. My son was due June 23rd which was 6 days before my high school graduation. Graduation came closer and he still wasn't budging. I walked the stage 9 months pregnant with my head high in the sky and proud of my accomplishments. My son Martin Breyon Gregory Johnson came 6 days later on July 6th, 7:02 in the morning, 7 pounds and 10 ounces. Months went past and I still didn't speak to my mother. It killed me to know she didn't only deny me but, she denied her grandson. Weeks went past and she called, I went back home and still until this day 2 years later she still holds it against me. When she gets upset she never fails to call me just another teen statistic. I thought so negative of myself and myself esteem was below zero.I graduated from high school and Everest College as a Licensed Pharmacy Technician. Making it in life is nothing but a option and if no one else is proud of me.I can say I'm proud of me. With a great attitude and mind I have excepted my decisions and enjoy my choices. Regardless of who likes it or not. I must say hell yeah I like the life I live because I went from negative to positive and its all good. (Notorious B.I.G-Juicy)